“Well, at least we can all agree the third one’s always the worst,” says an X-Men: Apocalypse character after seeing Return of the Jedi in theaters. Besides being a nod to the 80s setting, this line could certainly be Bryan Singer’s attempt to throw shade at X-Men: The Last Stand, the third and only movie of the original X-Men trilogy that he didn’t direct. Unfortunately, it also happens to be self-referential. After the franchise impressively returned to form with First Class and Days of Future Past, Apocalypse is a disappointing step back. Similar to several previous X-Men films, the fate of humanity hangs in the balance, but a fraction of the stakes is actually felt.
The major culprit is that Apocalypse is a very underwhelming villain. I can’t speak for his portrayal in the comics, but this cinematic version is simply not interesting. Don’t blame Oscar Issac, who’s stuck spouting one grandiose cliché after another while buried under unimpressive layers of makeup. This is the bad type of corny dialogue – not over the top enough to be fun, just plain boring.
Magneto, played to near perfection once again by Michael Fassbender, is given a tragic backstory that adds even further depth to the character. However, after this promising setup he ends up not doing much as one of Apocalypse’s four horsemen. He does fare better than his fellow sidekicks (Storm / Angel / Psyloche), who are reduced to taking part in insignificant side battles during the climax and standing in the background while their master speechifies. Several scenes are spent on their recruitment, with little payoff.
Mutant newcomers Cyclops, Jean Grey, and Nightcrawler show much more life. There’s a sense of camaraderie and they’re solidly set to occupy what will likely be bigger roles going forward. James McAvoy has settled in nicely as Professor X. The dynamic of Xavier and Magneto’s dueling philosophies takes a backseat this time, due to the latter’s status as a lackey for most of the movie.
Also returning are Mystique, whose reduced role is unlikely to upset many fans given Jennifer Lawrence’s unremarkable performance; Wolverine, who brutally slashes and growls his way out of captivity in an extended cameo; and Quicksilver, who steals every moment he’s on screen. The filmmakers understandably wanted to outdo his previous “save everyone in slow motion” feat in Days of Future Past. They’ve succeeded with one of the best scenes this year, set to Eurythmic’s “Sweet Dreams.” I’d definitely be up for a collection of Quicksilver music videos.
X-Men: Apocalypse is decent fun from time to time, but it’s undermined by a muddled storyline featuring half-baked villains. The result is not caring much about the fate of the world. At a time when fears of superhero fatigue are growing, with underwhelming box office performances to back them up, this isn’t quite good enough. I’ll chalk it up to a misstep from Bryan Singer and screenwriter Simon Kinberg, while remaining optimistic about future mutant adventures.
Dogomon 